First Steps

Today is the start of a new journey for me, a journey of discovery, growth, and fulfillment.  Today I leave behind uncertainty, my tendency towards worry, and pushing my own needs to the back of the line.  Today is empowering, exciting, and filled with endless possibilities.  Today I am strong, I am powerful, and I am ME.

Today I am following my innate desire to write about and to photograph the world around me.  To stop and notice, observe and think.  To breathe and inhale it all, the incredibleness of God’s world; from the grand beauty of nature, so apparent where I live, to appreciating the small things that touch my everyday life, a kind word, a smile, a simple interaction with another human that can seem so little, but mean so much.  I want to capture it, to dwell on it, learn from it, and share it with others.  And as I step outside on this first crisp morning, my journey begins.

The stunning view from my house.

The stunning view from near my house which is so conducive to pondering and peacefulness.

Each day I post I intend to set aside a couple of hours, to walk and ponder topics, capture things with my camera, then let my thoughts turn to words.  Today I want to share the stunning view from near my home, which accompanies and inspires me during my time for reflection, and also what I thought about on my walk.  It began with a quote which caught my eye this morning.  It was posted onto Yoga Instructor Sadie Nardini’s Facebook page, painted in it’s blue italics on a corrugated wall in Austin.  It is by America novelist and poet, Jack Kerouac, from his book Mexico City Blues “Derange pas ta tendresse, Don’t break your tenderness.”

"Derange pas ta tendresse, Don’t break your tenderness.”

“Derange pas ta tendresse, Don’t break your tenderness.”

The words jumped out the page to me.  I wondered why.  I reflect on them – Don’t break your tenderness – the letters swirling in my brain.  I think of tenderness as the way we act towards others, of patience, of understanding, of softening your heart and emotions to the way you think of and treat people.   I see myself as tender.  I like to do things for others, to anticipate their needs, and help fulfill them.

I feel I am being told to remain TENDER on my journey, which is important to me.  I want to continue to care about other’s needs and give them time.  But I want this new path to bring me personal STRENGTH too, and the ability to recognize and fulfill my own needs.  Is it possible to possess these two opposing emotions? To be tender and strong?  I try to think of someone who has these characteristics, and the first movie I owned, Braveheart, comes to mind.  I imagine William Wallace galloping alongside his troops embodying both these traits.  I dwell on the words brave and heart, both strong and tender.  And I know it can be done.  

Lydia

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